(2) Think out loud:
When you have a tough choice to make, allow the children
to see how you work through the problem, weigh the pros
and cons, and come to a decision. The process of making
a good decision is a skill. A good role model will not
only show a child which decision is best, but also how
they came to that conclusion. That way, the child will
be able to follow that reasoning when they are in a
similar situation.
(3) Apologize and
admit mistakes: Nobody's perfect. When you make a bad
choice, let those who are watching and learning from you
know that you made a mistake and how you plan to correct
it. This will help them to understand that (a) everyone
makes mistakes; (b) it's not the end of the world; (c)
you can make it right; and (d) you need to take care of
it and be accountable right away. By apologizing,
admitting your mistake, and repairing the damage, you
will be demonstrating an important yet often overlooked
part of being a role model.
(4) Follow through: We
all want children to stick with their commitments and
follow through with their promises. But as adults it can
sometimes be difficult to demonstrate follow through
when we're tired, distracted, busy, or overwhelmed. To
be a good role model, we must demonstrate
stick-to-itiveness. That means; (a) be on time; (b)
finish what you started; (c) don't quit; (d) keep your
word; and (e) keep going even if things get difficult.
When role models follow through with their goals, it
teaches children that it can be done and helps them
adopt an "if s/he can do it, so can I" attitude.
(5) Show respect: You
may be driven, successful, and smart but whether you
choose to show respect or not speaks volumes about the
type of attitude it takes to make it in life. We always
tell children to "treat others the way we want to be
treated" and yet, may not subscribe to that axiom
ourselves. Do you step on others to get ahead? Do you
take people for granted? Do you show gratitude for
others? It's often the little things you do that make
the biggest difference in the way children perceive how
to succeed in business and relationships.
(6) Be well rounded:
While we don't want to spread ourselves too thin, it's
important to show children that we can be more than just
one thing. Great role models aren't just "parents" or
"teachers." They're great learners and challenge
themselves to get out of their comfort zones. You may be
a father who's also a student of the martial arts, a
great chef and a treasured friend. You may be a mother
who's a gifted dancer and a curious photographer. When
children see that their role models can be many things,
they will learn that they don't need to pigeon-hole
themselves in order to be successful.
(7) Demonstrate
confidence in who you are: Whatever you choose to do
with your life, be proud of the person you've become. It
may have been a long road, but it's the responsibility
of a role model to commemorate the lessons learned, the
strength amassed, and the character developed. It's
true; we can always improve, however, children need to
see that their role models don't suspend their
confidence until they achieve "one more win" or "lose 5
more pounds." We must continue to strive while being
happy with how far we've come at the same time.
While it may seem like
a great deal of pressure to be a positive role model;
nobody is expecting you to be superhuman. We certainly
wouldn't expect that behavior from the children who are
looking to us for guidancenor would we want them to
expect that kind of flawless behavior from themselves.
You can only do your best. And, if you mess up today,
you can always refer back to tip #3 and try again
tomorrow. Good role models earn multiple chances from
the children who believe in them.
Known as "The Character Queen,"
Dr. Robyn Silverman is a child development
specialist, success coach, and parenting expert. Her
tips-based style makes her a favorite among both
parents and teachers. She's the creator of the
Powerful Words Character Toolkit, a character
education system used in children's after-school and
day-care programs. For more information or to
contact Dr. Robyn, please visit her Powerful
Parenting Blog at
http://www.DrRobynsBlog.com or her website at
http://www.DrRobynSilverman.com